THE ALIEN'S GUIDE TO EARTH

BIZARRE BELIEFS

They are their bodies!

Earth people are actually confident that they wouldn't exist without these packages of meat and circulating fluids. Must be like believing you're stuck in a tin can without any means of escape. Oh, how they've forgotten what it's like to be free! Clueless that bodies are just vehicles for them - the beings.

They worry constantly about bodies....fear of hurting them, losing them, how to shelter them, what shape they're in, dressing them, encarcerating them and disposing of them. Of special note: they are quite excessively obsessed with the means of making more of them! To its credit, the Eastern sector of earth culture knows much of the truth about bodies - even if they do have it somewhat confused.

Earth bodies come in two basic versions - male and female - but they also come in various models - lots of different colors, shapes and sizes including very small ones inhabited by their children. But don't let diversity fool you into thinking they are tolerant, though towards the very end of the 20th century this behaviour showed marked improvement. But for a while the differences within a group were not tolerated at all. In fact some humans of one color coming upon a larger group of another color were headed for certain trouble. No wonder we're warned to stay away from this planet!

Yet humans insist on having these troublesome bodies - vulnerable to violence, extreme temperatures, bugs, or general deterioration. Not only do Earth people ride around in their bodies all lives long - they also feel the need to have vehicles for their vehicles! .....cars, buses, airliners. And they spend most of their lives "working" at tasks they don't exactly enjoy in order to earn money to take care of bodies: food, shelter, clothing, medicine, insurance, taxes, and something called disneyland.

It's a widespread belief that they cannot perceive or know anything unless they "see" it with their eyeballs or "hear" it with their ears. Despite the prevalent think among humans that they only have a few senses, we must mention that some - a few - and maybe more (those who keep their awareness to themselves or call it gut instinct) - have use of their native abilities. At the end of the twentieth century these "gifts" were called ESP or "psychic abilities". Also, on their own EarthNet, humans have an interesting site where they record their near-death and out of body experiences where many of them realize that they can indeed separate from their bodies and still perceive and think and even move.

But the oddity of observing these persons who labor in bodies that need to breathe air to survive and use sound to communicate! And they all don't even speak the same language.....such chaos! And it's not all unintended confusion either. Earth people find their bodies useful to stop communication. They turn their back, pretend not to see or hear. Bodies give them great excuses to say "Sorry" or "Beg pardon" when they really mean quite the opposite. And too, bodies are handy for humans to insult each other with - quite amazing indeed are the various gestures that have meaning!

One of the most hilarious spin-offs of this obsession with bodies is a "science" called "cryonics" where people pay up to $250,000 to have their bodies or heads frozen in the hope that when Earth science has found ways to prolong life, they can be unfrozen and "live again"!!! And suckers - sorry, humans - actually buy into this! They apparently don't realize how plentiful new bodies are!