How to write rap

How To Write a Rap / House(glorified disco) / Disco Song
--------------------------------------------------------

LYRICS:
Simply take one word or phrase from each of the three columns below, in order
to make one line.  Repeat randomly four times.  Repeat process again twice
to make chorus.  Repeat last line 17 times.  Don't worry if they don't make
sense.

Column 1                Column 2                Column 3

Move it                 Triple Beat             The City Streets
Get Up                  Body Heat               You'll be Humpin
Pump It Up              Feel the Beat           Before the Night is Over
Get Down                Get Around              Shake your Meat
Shake it                The Joint Is Jumpin     Bustin Loose
Pump the Jam            Feet are Stompin        Disco Heat

BACKBEAT:
Program a drum machine in neverending 4/4 time.  Add occasional snare.

BODY:
Add monotonous bass in one key.  Overlay with punchy sounding synth.  Get
previously unknown singer to talk the lyrics so as not to test the range
of the vocal chords.

PRODUCTION:
Put above ingredients together on master tape.  Press discs.  Give the label
a suitably techno-funk sounding name, like "Mixmastermeatbeaters".  Sell 5
million copies to unsuspecting public.  Win MTV Award.

The sad thing is the public will *think* you've been creative...  

Better still, this process can be automated via a lyric C program, a random 
synth base and music generator, and the discs mastered directly by computer
control.

This relieves the composer of decisions regarding which phrases and notes
to use in production.  By pressing the <RET  key, more than 100 CD's a week
can be generated.

This I have done, below is a sample composition guaranteed to make megabucks:

-----
"Get down" by Mixmastermeatbeaters

Get down the joint is jumpin' you'll be humpin'
Shake it feet are stompin' in the city streets
Pump the jam feel the beat with disco heat
Move it get around 'til the night is over

(chorus)
Get down to triple beat shake your meat
Pump it up get around in the city streets

Pump the jam to triple beat you'll be humpin'
Shake it get body heat 'til the night is over
Get up the joint is jumpin' you'll be humpin'
Pump it up feet are stompin' I'm bustin loose

(chorus)
Get down to triple beat shake your meat
Pump it up get around in the city streets

Pump it up get around in the city streets
Pump it up get around in the city streets
Pump it up get around in the city streets
etc..
-----

Note that this is indistinguishable from the human generated version.

For those who wish to compose themselves, the program appears in the next
posting.  I hope for a cut in the royalties :-)

!-----------------------------------------------------------------------

#include <stdio.h 
#include <time.h 
#include <ctype.h 

static char     col1[6][30] = {
        "Move it",
        "Get up",
        "Pump it up",
        "Get down",
        "Shake it",
        "Pump the jam"
};

static char     col2[6][30] = {
        " to triple beat ",
        " get body heat ",
        " feel the beat ",
        " get around ",
        " the joint is jumpin' ",
        " feet are stompin' "
};

static char     col3[6][30] = {
        "in the city streets\n",
        "you'll be humpin'\n",
        "'til the night is over\n",
        "shake your meat\n",
        "I'm bustin loose\n",
        "with disco heat\n"
};

main()
{
        int     chor[2][3];
        int     i,j,getpid();
        long    now;

/* Generate random seed */

        now = time(&now) / rand();
        srand(getpid() + (int)((now    16) + now + time(&now)));

/* Generate chorus and title */

        for (i = 0; i < 2; i++)
                for (j = 0; j < 3; j++)
                        chor[i][j] = rand() % 6;
        printf ("\n\"%s\" by Mixmastermeatbeaters\n\n",col1[(chor[0][0])]);

/* Print out song */

        verse();
        chorus(chor);
        verse();
        chorus(chor);
        lastline(chor);
        printf("-----\n");
}

chorus(chor)
int     chor[2][3];
{
        int     i;

        printf("\n(chorus)\n");
        for (i = 0; i < 2; i++) {
                printf("%s",col1[(chor[i][0])]);
                printf("%s",col2[(chor[i][1])]);
                printf("%s",col3[(chor[i][2])]);
        }
        printf("\n");
}

verse()
{
        int     i;

        for (i = 0; i < 4; i++) {
                printf("%s",col1[rand()%6]);
                printf("%s",col2[rand()%6]);
                printf("%s",col3[rand()%6]);
        }
}

lastline(chor)
int     chor[2][3];
{
        int     i;

        for (i = 0; i < 17; i++) {
                printf("%s",col1[chor[1][0]]);
                printf("%s",col2[chor[1][1]]);
                printf("%s",col3[chor[1][2]]);
        }
        printf("\n");
}