What she really means...

    She says                               She means
    --------                               ---------

    You want                               You want
    We need                                I want
    It's your decision                     The correct decision should be 
                                           obvious by now
    Do what you want                       You'll pay for this later
    We need to talk                        I need to complain
    Sure...go ahead                        I don't want you to.
    I'm not upset                          Of course I'm upset, you moron.
    You're...so manly                      You need a shave and you sweat 
                                           a lot.
    You're certainly attentive tonight.    Is sex all you ever think 
                                           about?
    I'm not emotional!  And I'm not        I'm on my period.
    overreacting!
    Be romantic, turn out the lights.      I have flabby thighs.
    This kitchen is so inconvenient.       I want a new house. 
    I want new curtains                    and carpeting, furniture, 
                                           wallpaper...
    Hang the picture there                 No, I mean hang it there!
    I heard a noise                        I noticed you were almost 
                                           asleep.
    Do you love me?                        I'm going to ask for something
                                           expensive.
    How much do you love me?               I did something today you're 
                                           really not going to
                                           like..
    I'll be ready in a minute.             Kick off your shoes and find a 
                                           good game on T.V. 
    Is my butt fat?                        Tell me I'm beautiful.
    You have to learn to communicate.      Just agree with me.
    Are you listening to me!?              [Too late, you're dead.]
    Yes                                    No
    No                                     No
    Maybe                                  No
    I'm sorry.                             You'll be sorry.
    Do you like this recipe?               It's easy to fix, so you'd 
                                           better get get used to it. 
    I'm not yelling!                       Yes I am yelling because I 
                                           think this is important.
     
    In answer to the question "What's wrong?"
    
    The same old thing.                    Nothing.
    Nothing.                               Everything.
    Everything.                            My PMS is acting up.
    Nothing, really.                       It's just that you're such a 
                                           jerk.
    I don't want to talk about it.         Go away, I'm still building up 
                                           evidence against you.
 
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